"If a mother is a self-constituted servant, bringing up a family of idlers on a middle class salary, she will have no time to read to her children or to enjoy excursions with them. If they share her work, she can enjoy their pleasures. Giving children tasks when they are young, usually means more work for the mother than if she did everything herself, but, later as they become older, her efforts in that respect will be noted and absorbed by her children. If she resents housework and wears the air of martyrdom her children will most likely express that same resentment and martyrdom."
- The Child's World: Mother's Guide. Copyright 1957
17 comments:
I like that. I also like the idea of allowing yourself a "dramatic" day when everything you do is HUGELY emotional. Think extreme gestures, melodramatic voice, scream and sigh as often as your circumstances create a small window for it. Be a martyr on that day.
You really are a fantastic mom. Max and Oli are such quality kids with awesome personalities. That comes from work too. How boring are the kids who nothing is ever required of them.
What an AWESOME quote. I love it! "Lane, hit the toilets...now!" Just kidding. Seriously though we are all for kids helping! and the attitude is a good thing to keep reminding myself!
Can you come raise my children please? :)
That principle isn't "vintage" around our home, either....how else could I love, train up, home school, and enjoy these little ones?!?!? Not to mention keep the house in any sort of order.....!!!
HEavenly Home,
I called it vintage mothering because the quote came from a vintage mother's guide. You know what though? It seems these days that parenting books might not say the same sorts of things... don't you think? Today it seems like a lot of the world isn't focused on children working side by side with their parents. I don't know....
The quote is RIGHT ON though, it is so much easier to do things ourselves. It takes a lot more to teach them. more time AND more patience!
Em, you are doing a wonderful job. I am sure you are overwhelmed right now with the new one. I know I was! It was rough for a while but I made it through and you will too. I wish I was closer so I could come and help!
Lane -- get on those toilets!!!
mm such a good quote. i have to remind myself of that. i feel the latter lately- "air of martyrdom". no good. it IS SO crazy though sometimes having three little children help i just get beside myself. they end up fighting and bickering and then i just give up. i'll try again though. after i get over the battery dying on our way to go out to the store and leaving andy stranded at work. !!!!!!!
My sentiments exactly!! It does pay off too. You should see my kids (15 years and 11 years) work now. I love it!
mamawags, I am sure you deal with this every day being a teacher and that is why the difference is so apparent. I think it manifests itself mostly with kids being afraid, bored, and unhappy, most of them with no self confidence.
Staci, I play the martyrdom game ALL THE TIME. I read this quote last night and it really hit home. I know that it is so much more frustrating now trying to get them to help and being patient when they spray each other with glass cleaner instead of the window, or vaccuum their shirt because it's funny and not the stairs.... but I have to think that it is worth it. And I DO think it is key that we have an attitude about ourselves that we love to make our home nice and clean and a place where the spirit can be!
Julie, thank you for giving us hope!
did you give them a broom after that activity and make them clean up the mess they made? :)
LOVE THIS! We just ground wheat into flour, refilled the sugar jar, raked leaves, vacuumed, and all the other chores that come along with our day. And because of your post here I was inspired to take pictures and will be borrowing your quote and blogging about it....so that someday when my boys are older and look back they can see WHY I had them work along side me.
You are an inspiration to me. Thank you!
Love the bow ties! Sadly I waited a day too long to add some to my boys' wardrobes.
And totally Off Topic....but will limber letters be reappearing anytime soon?
Cynthia
Northern Utah
Cort, did you not see the last picture?? Max is vacuuming up the mess. All part of the game.
Mom of three -- good for you! I think there is nothing more important than teaching young boys (and girls) to work. No matter how hard it may be.
You are not too late for the bowties if you would still like some! The date was extended until this evening. They were featured on cjane's blog (do you know her?) and I told her I would give her readers until this evening. I want to see your pictures!
The book I got that quote from has SO many great quotes and stories. I love vintage parenting books.
Great quote. Great pictures! So cute. Sometimes it's so difficult to give tasks to kids our kids' ages, but thanks for reminding me that it will pay off down the road.
haha..I didn't even notice the last picture. was that oatmeal? You had enough flour and oatmeal on the floor for a batch of cookies.
Hey T, this was great. It reminds me of that idea my mother-in-law shared with me that I shared with you a long time ago... if you remember... something about how decades ago, the mother was the center of the home and her children worked around and with her. It created trusting children who honored the work their mothers did and what they learned from her. These days, my MIL thinks, too many mothers trot after their kids and let their agendas rule. Anyway, it sort of goes a different direction, but anyway...
I agree that these days this may not be said in parenting books. We know work is a blessing! Benson and Claire LOVE doing laundry with me and emptying the dishwasher with me. i don't like it so much because of exactly what it says, but I know it's valuable.
Sarah, I remember that chat we had and that wisdom you shared from your mother in law.
It is true about parents letting their kids rule. I see it everywhere and it makes it harder and harder to be that "I Mean Business" mom.
OH I LOVE THIS! What a fabulous quote and for some reason I particulary love the photos you chose--you could have chosen pics of kids washing windows or something, but there is something so fulfilling about the food pics, you know?
It looks like we are out of the same mold, my teacher friend! I am so happy to be connected to you!
xo
anne
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