I love when I am fed something in church that I can sit at home and chew on for a while. The following comment was made by a speaker in sacrament meeting today:
"At the end of each day, we have done exactly what we wanted to do"
Think about it.
You may have not finished the things you think you wanted to do because you actually wanted to do something else more. You make choices all day long - are they choices that lead you to your goals or choices that lead you away from your goals? Are you wanting to do something each day to help you become a better person or are you letting the lesser wants get in the way?
You wanted to stay home more than you wanted to go running.
You wanted to yell at your children more than you wanted to remain calm.
You wanted to watch television more than you wanted to read your scriptures.
You wanted to sleep more than you wanted to pray.
You wanted to eat ice cream more than you wanted to eat carrot sticks.
(but ultimately you want to lose weight so really you wanted to eat the carrot sticks. And ultimately you want to understand the scriptures better so really you wanted to read the scriptures but you didn't because you chose to use your time elsewhere - See?)
At the end of the day we have done everything we have wanted to do.
But what about how I wanted a clean house but I couldn't because my kids are crazy? If you want something bad enough you will do what it takes. If you want a clean house you will stay up late and clean it. Or you will take the major effort that it takes to invest in teaching your children how to clean up after themselves. If you want to buy a house one day and really truly want it then you will scrimp and save instead of nickel and dime-ing your way further and further away from a down payment. If you want friends, extend yourself. If you want a testimony, read your scriptures, follow the commandments and pray.
It is very human to place blame and make excuses as to why we haven't accomplished what we really want in life but when we erase all blame and all excuses we can see that the only person stopping us from whatever we desire in life is ourselves.
"I count him braver who overcomes his desires than him who conquers his enemies; for the hardest victory is over self."
**This principle is not completely absolute. But almost. There are most definitely circumstances beyond our control. We do have to recognize that there are fixed conditions that our efforts cannot change, i.e physical deformities, mental or physical illness, marital status, the bearing of children, or the changing of others around us.
"God grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change,
courage to change the things we can, and wisdom to know the difference."
-serenity prayer
courage to change the things we can, and wisdom to know the difference."
-serenity prayer
12 comments:
Wonderful thoughts, and so well said. I often say that you cannot change any one else, except yourself. And also, that the only one who can solve my problems is ME. No body else. I think you shared some great thoughts!
Interesting, that really struck me during church as well. Really made me evaluate my wants. Not something that I necessarily wanted to do, but definitely something I needed to do!
Thanks... I will have to read that again to let it all sink in. But that is SO true. My mother-in-law and I always laugh when it's late afternoon and she says, "look, it is 4 o'clock and I haven't gotten anything done!"
But we have been chatting, she's chatted on the phone, held Claire, etc. So, yeah-- everythign she wanted to do more than the other things on the 'to do' list!
Well said Tiffany. It really makes me think about how I spend my time each day.
i loved all of this. thank you for the thought provoking post. i'll be thinking about this for some time to come! i love you tiff. and as for your "friend to none" post - you are a true friend and i admire your friendliness to all. i understand the quote but you are the rare expection my friend!
one more comment - i've ended up having such a productive day after reading and thinking about this post! thanks again!
I have been much more productive since Sunday and I have eaten a lot better too!
It really does make you think huh? And it is applicable to so many things in life.
hey tiff-
it's been a while since i have gone blog-hopping, but since i am going to see you this weekend, i checked up on you... and i must say
i LOVE this post. so much so that i posted a link to it from mine- i hope that's okay!
see you in two days!
What about the mother who has lost a child? Is it really her fault that she spent her day mourning her loss?
In theory I agree, we have much control over our own destiny.
However, as you pointed out, sometimes life hands us sour grapes day after day.
Yes, it is her choice that she mourns all day. Is that a bad thing? No, not necessarily. It all depends. I have wanted to do a follow up post on this to make sure it is clear that what this all boils down to is priorities. Did I just lay down and take a nap while my toddler and 8 month old are sleeping -yes. Do I want a clean house? yes. I am checking my email now so what do I want more? I want to sleep and check my email more than I want a clean house obviously.
We naturally prioritize. If I want a clean house but even more than that I want to have playful happy children, then the house will wait and there will be blocks and plastic animals all over my house.
If a mother loses a baby and wants to get things done but just can't because she is mourning - so be it. That is what she wants to do and that is okay. Can she get things done - sure, but to her at that moment it is more important to mourn. It is not a insensitive thing to say.
I have a friend who just miscarried about a month ago. For a couple weeks she mourned and really didn't do much and now she is getting things done. Does she still mourn and think of her lost baby every day? Yes, but now she has gained the strength to be able to handle taking on a little more of life.
I tried to make that clear at the end that we cannot control everything. And sometimes things like mourning, letting the house go for the kids, spending an afternoon at a friends, sitting in front of the TV for an evening and eating cheesecake CAN be a priority because that is what is needed at a certain time.
But we can control how we REACT to those uncontrollable circumstances, and that IS our choice.
I think you understand, anonymous. I am not an insensitive person.
One thing to make clear after reading your comment again. I guess when you wrote the word "fault" that is where it took a turn from what I was writing about. Fault has a bad connotation to it. It isn't her "fault" that she is mourning, but it is her "choice". It is not a "fault" to mourn the loss of a loved one AT ALL. But we do choose to mourn. Which, again IS NOT a bad thing.
HELLLOOOO anonymous? Did you read the same blog post that I did? She didn't say that if life is "sour grapes" than you are doing something wrong. She is clearly stating that your day is what you make it!
Any good mother would cry over her child. Just like you would saw "ouch" after being stapled in the finger. It's a natural human reaction. It is what makes us human.
Now making good choices...that is what makes us great day-to-day human beings!
Likely's point is that in the day-to-day we all have choices that creates our day as a whole. All of us can examine our day and find a spot that could be lacking. Tragedy or not.
Thanks for this post, Likely. (I found you through Peggy Deming's blog! She rocks.)
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