the poor.

A 2001-2002 class reunion at Pizza Factory.

In church today we discussed helping the poor.  We talked briefly about what we do in situations where the homeless are asking us for money. Lessons like these always remind me of an experience that I had when I was a young teacher.  I wanted to share this story today in class, but I was afraid it would take too much time, so I thought I would write out my thoughts here.  It’s long, but I hope you don’t mind. 

My first year of teaching I was an intern- given half pay and the final credits for the last portion of my education at BYU.  It was an incredible year and my sixth grade class at Grandview Elementary fulfilled every dream I had of what teaching would be all about. I felt connected to them, I felt like I meant something to them, they meant the world to me.   At the end of that school year I graduated and was jobless.  The school I interned for didn't have room for me.  I put in applications and was asked for three interviews.  Just getting an interview was a huge deal in Utah Valley - oftentimes there were up to 80 applicants for one opening.

My first interview was at the school down the street, nearly the same demographic as the school I interned for- Low to middle class. It went well, but the principal chose someone who had already been working at the school part-time.  My second interview was at a school in the downtown area -- a very old building serving low-income families.  The school had the highest rates of free and reduced lunches in the county.  The interview went well and the principal seemed very interested and offered to show me up to the classrooms.  I met the current teachers and saw my potential classroom.  I pictured myself there with the big windows and the long radiator and the high ceilings.

We walked back down the stairs to his office where he asked if I had any other interviews.  I told him that I had one the next day at Canyon Crest Elementary.  His response:  "Well, if you are looking for fancy presents from your students, go ahead".  

I was shocked.  Canyon Crest had a great reputation.  Was it one of the more affluent areas in the county?  Yes.  Did they have a stellar principal that I really admired and wanted to work for?  Yes.  The downtown school principal mentioned that he had more interviews that afternoon but that he would be making his decision that evening and would let me know one way or another.  

He called me that evening and offered me the job.  He said that the kids at his school could really use a teacher like me.  I remember thinking, like me?  What -- someone who cares about them?  Don't all kids need that?  I told him I wanted to interview the next day at Canyon Crest and then let him know.  He said he needed to know that night.  I asked him to give me an hour or so to think about it.

I was so torn.  Here I was, offered a job, but a job I wasn't sure about and for some reason didn't feel right about.  I hesitantly called back and thanked him for the offer but told him that I didn't think it was going to work for me. I couldn't believe what I was saying. He seemed genuinely shocked and reacted by saying, "You know, these are the kinds of kids that need a good teacher like you.  I suppose you need the fancy presents and if you do, I wish you luck in getting them."  I know. pathetic.  I cried a little that night to dave, but felt I made the right decision.

I had a good interview at Canyon Crest, but I didn't get the job.  Darn those eggs all in that basket.  Once again the job went to someone who had worked there, part time.  I was jobless and it was now summer. I was tormented by my decision to give up that downtown job.  

I ended up getting a last minute job as a long-term substitute at Rock Canyon Elementary, nearly the same demographic as Canyon Crest and conveniently located a few blocks from where I was living.  My experience there was incredible.  I loved my principal, my fellow teachers, my students. I had students from all walks of life.  At one point I had a student that literally lived with her family in a car down by the river and I had a student who had a beverage dispenser in her home that was filled with chocolate milk, regular milk and hi-c.  I ended up getting hired on as a full time sixth grade teacher and teaching there for three years.  (the job went to someone who had worked there part time :)

2004-2005 - my final year

What that man told me never left me.  It never left me when I saw a student of mine go to jail. It never left me when I saw a group of boys bullying to the point of threatened expulsion.  It didn't leave me when I saw eating disorders and broken homes and full-on neglect.  It didn't leave me when I saw students trapped in special education classes while their spirits slowly died. Or kids dealing with major anxiety issues or finding out they have type 1 diabetes or brain tumors or that their dad was cheating on their mom.  I remembered his words when I found out some former students got into hard-core drugs and were in big trouble.  His words echoed when a student from the affluent high school my kids were fed into committed suicide.  

I didn't need fancy presents.  I did need to make a difference and I didn't feel like "poor kids" had a monopoly on needing help and having good teachers.  In fact, the idea ticked me off.  I knew with all of my heart that kids all over the spectrum needed someone that cared about them, that believed in them, that loved them.  

I recently read a really great parenting book written by two therapists.  Something that they mentioned was that the opposite of dysfunction is dysfunction.  In their description, a toddler who is allowed to rule the household by doing whatever they want is dysfunctional just as a child who grows up in a home of complete rigidity and obedience to authority is dysfunctional. Both scenarios cause dysfunction. As we talked today in church about helping the poor I couldn't help but think this same thought.

The opposite of poor is poor.  

Mother Teresa said, "The world today is hungry not only for bread but hungry for love; hungry to be wanted, to be loved…the hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread”

I think that when we begin to categorize the people that are worthy of our service and our love, we miss the point.  When we begin to look at the wealthy as not needing our love because they have everything that they need, we buy into the lie that money equals happiness.  I am not ignoring the fact that money can equal opportunity in life, I am fully aware of that, and that money can oftentimes become a barrier in life's pursuits.  But money is not happiness.  Love is happiness.  And I think we all know that there are plenty of people in this world with money that are obviously not happy and possibly not loved.

I do not carry cash very often anymore.  I guess debit cards do that to you.  When I happen upon someone asking for money and I don’t have any I always try to do the thing that I think is the most important at that moment in time.  I look them in the eye.  I say hello.  I ask them how they are.  I recognize that they are there.  I do not ignore them.  When I see a business man dressed up in a suit holding some important satchel I always try to do the thing I think is most important.  I look him in the eye.  I say hello.  I ask him how he is.  I recognize that he is there.   I do not ignore him.  

There is no one on earth that we should ignore.  We can all be poor, we can all be hungry.  We are all worthy to be loved and to be fed by acts of charity and kindness no matter our temporal wealth.  We may just find out that the saddest souls we have known aren't the ones on the corner asking for food, but the ones offering you food by gifting you a $50 gift card to Outback wrapped up for Christmas.