Sunday Confessional: Heavenly Fly

There wasn't enough seats by my in-laws today and so we parked it by max's cool big friend "Christian".  Remember him?  Max scooted in next to Christian and carefully studied everything he did, sitting there quietly during almost the whole meeting with few reminders.  Oliver, ON THE OTHER HAND, was a different story.  Christian's family so happened to be on the second row on the left side by the exit door.  No room on the second row.  We sat in the very front row. Oliver and I.   Mistake.  I have actually learned that lesson once before but apparently I forgot.  Toddlers see that open space and can't contain themselves. It is best to get them blocked into an enclosed pew and bookend the family with two parents/adults.

I was chasing and wrestling with a squirmy Oliver nearly the whole meeting.  It was one of those sacrament meetings where you are pulling trick after trick after trick and each trick is lasting 8 seconds and then the attention is gone.  blast.  By the time the opening hymn had started I was already praying for inspiration and divine help with this crazy red-head.  Tricks were running out.  Snacks were running out.

About half way through the first verse I noticed a fly that was just sitting in the middle of the aisle, walking a little here and there and then just sitting again.

"Look, Oliver, a fly!" I whispered and pointed.

It immediately caught his attention and he was still for the first time since we took our seats.  He watched with all the intensity his body could muster.  "Ladybug!" he said over and over.  I let it be a ladybug.  Whatever he wanted it to be was fine with me.  He watched it crawl this way and that, fly the tiniest bit and land again, sitting still.

mesmerized.

In my head I was thinking --- Heavenly Father did you send this fly?  I don't hate flies anymore.  I love flies.  I love you little fly.  You are a fly straight from heaven.  Did you fly from heaven little fly to be at church today??? Thank you little fly.

The fourth verse began it's final chorus with Oliver hardly moving a muscle.

The man asked to say the opening prayer began his walk toward the podium.

walk.

walk.

walk.

walk.

SPLAT.


Right on Heavenly Fly.  Half of Heavenly Fly was on the bottom of Brother H's black church shoe and the other half was right where Brother H had left it.

I stared at the corpse in the aisle. Oliver stared at the corpse in the aisle.  The prayer started.

Oliver stared closer.  he noticed.

"LADYBUG????"  He said.

"Shhhhh..." I told him, fighting my giggles. "Shhhhhhhhhhh...."

"LADYBUG????" he said again.

I had to look away and try not to laugh.

He wrestled out of my grip for a second to get a closer look.

He bent down and hovered about 3 inches away from the victim. studied and then said to me:

"yucky ladybug".

I agreed with him and he sat in my lap again.

The prayer ended.  I wondered if Brother H was going to step on Heavenly Fly again on his way back as unassumingly as he did on the way up and take off with the second half.

He didn't.

Oliver pointed and said "yucky ladybug" at least 23 more times during the meeting.

The end.