As a young woman in high school I remember being taught a lesson on marriage in church. I went home that day and thought about my future family. I remember having thoughts about my husband-to-be and I found it fascinating to think that he was somewhere in the world and I just didn't know him yet. (cue the American Tale theme song)
I decided that night I would pray for my future husband. I didn't know him but I knew God did. I mostly prayed the same thing every night. "Please bless him to have a good day tomorrow."
A couple weeks before we were engaged, David and I were sitting at a park enjoying great conversation. Toward the end of the evening I asked him "Have you had a lot of good days?" He asked me why. I told him that I had been praying a prayer for him to have good days since I was about 17. Nearly 5 years.
As I went in to check on my sleeping children tonight I looked at their sweet little faces and was overwhelmed with emotion. Have you ever just sat and watched a child sleep? It has to be one of the most peaceful things in the world. As I watched them, I thought of the countless times I prayed for them too. And here they are. The little ones I dreamed about.
I have always dreamed of being a wife and a mother and sometimes I forget that I am living that childhood dream. I pause as I am putting lotion on a freshly bathed baby and pause as I am rolling in the grass with my toddler and realize that this is indeed what I dreamed of.
I wonder if I am living up to the aspirations of that little girl inside of me. Am I the mother that I hoped I would become? Because the children are here now and motherhood is not in the future.
It is in the now.
I recommit myself, as I am finding myself do a lot lately, to becoming the wife and mother that I hoped I would be.
10 comments:
funny that you just posted that. as i was driving home tonight from running some errands, i was having almost the exact same thoughts. isn't it awesome to be living that dream!
Good post Tiff. I too catch myself thinking "It's no longer 'when I'm a mom' but 'I am a mom' and suddenly I realize I've got to become the mom I've always wanted to be." It's a little daunting at times...but also amazing.
Tiffany, this is good. What did we learn in conference? Learn from the past, have faith in the future, and live in the NOW. Your boys are precious.
That brought tears to my eyes. I worry that I don't live in the moment enough with my children and just enjoy the ride. I feel that I'm always trying to just get it done and get to the next thing. Thanks for the reminder. I've been thinking (and praying) about this very same thing a lot lately.
The other day Brielle told me 'gosh, it is taking so long for me to get big like you mommy!' I told her it seemed to me like it was going too fast for me! She is SO disapointed Max is not coming this month!
this is my favorite! thanks for posting it. and that picture is so so cute!
When my mom was young she used to always sing the song from the Music man "Goodnight my someone, Goodnight My love..." That is so cute that you prayed each night for your husband to have a good day.
I loved this post. A little tear jerker, and like others have said a good reminder to live in the present. Not always rush to the next thing. And to remember through all the poopy diapers and tantrums that this is all part of the dream we've been wanting. And we LOVE it.
And me too, thanks T. It is sad that sometimes we realize too much looking back, AFTERwards, and that is unfortunate to risk having regrets, etc. So, I need to commit the same and be what I've always told myself I would be. Because this IS what I always dreamed, even when I complain!! :)
I like this post a lot tiffany. it's touching.
A great reminder to enjoy what we already have! Even when life is messy and hard work, it really is what most of us as moms and wives wouldn't trade for anything.
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